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Flight is the only refuge as the big guns turn
on Gordon Brown and Two Jobs Des
Ann Treneman
Parliamentary Sketch: The TImes
Filed 23 Nov 07
©Ann Treneman
This article was
originally published in The TImes, 23rd November 07.
It is reproduced here with the kind permission of its
Author and of the Newspaper
Amazing battle scenes in the Lords as a
debate on defence turned nasty. Actually I think the Armed Forces
have declared war — on their own Government. Yesterday it
was not so much “we will fight them on the beaches”
as “we will fight them on the benches”. The red benches,
that is.
The attack was launched from land, sea and
air by no fewer than five former Chiefs of the Defence Staff. I
believe this is what the Americans call a “surge”. I
understand it has been given the codename Operation Destroy Reputations.
I tell you, these men do not mess around.
They not only know the SAS, they are the SAS. It was only modesty,
and possibly because they were wearing smart suits, that prevented
them from abseiling in.
They already have the Prime Minister on
the run. Literally. For I couldn’t help but notice that Gordon
Brown had not only fled the building but the country. As the military
men attacked, he was sheltering in Uganda under the thin excuse
of attending a Commonwealth summit. But everyone in the Lords knew
the truth.
General Lord Guthrie of Craigiebank certainly
did. He had been chief of the defence staff from 1997 to 2001. “He
was the most unsympathetic Chancellor, as far as defence was concerned.
The only time he came to the MoD while I was there, I recall, was
when he came to talk about the Rosyth dockyard, which was in his
constituency. He must take much of the blame for the very serious
situation in which we find the services today.”
No wonder Gordo was in Kampala. But if the
Prime Minister was viewed with suspicion, Des Browne was treated
with outright derision. Des’s crime is to have been appointed
to two jobs: he is Defence Secretary and also Scottish Secretary.
Thus his military nickname, “Two Jobs Des”. There was
no sight of him yesterday. I’m sure Des had fled to somewhere
safer, like Iraq.
Admiral Lord Boyce attacked Des and his
multitasking. “This is seen as an insult by our soldiers on
the front line and I know this because I have reason to speak to
them a lot,” he said, his words biting so hard that you could
see the teethmarks. “It is a demonstration of the disinterest
and some might say contempt the Prime Minister and his Government
have for our Armed Forces. It shows an appalling lack of judgment
at a time when our people are being killed and being maimed.”
The Admiral stood tall, a furious figurehead
determined to plough the murky waters of defence spending. He annihilated
the claim that there had been any real increases in the defence
budget. What about the replacement for Trident? Now that had to
be accommodated, too.
It was all “smoke and mirrors”. “If I were to
cut to the truth, we will find it is actually negative, especially
if one extracts the £550 million to be spent on the slum accommodation
which should have been replaced years ago.”
There were, incredibly, only two peers on
the Labour benches. Perhaps they feared an ambush which, actually,
was about right. Lord Boyce was still on the warpath. “This
negative budget is why if you go to the MoD today you will find
blood on the floor as the defence programme is slashed to meet the
desperate funding situation.”
Blood on the floor? How about blood on the
benches? No one would ever know in the Lords, of course. It has
perfect camouflage.
©Ann Treneman
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